You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This
by DeathByMushrooms
Summary: Sirius and Remus agree to go to the seventh years' ball together, but on one condition: that James will shut up. They never expected anything to happen. Until something did. RLSB slash.
1. The Bet

**You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like Thisbr**

**Prologue**

**By LTDan**

A/N: Warning, warning, warning! Slashiness!  Okay, it's not heavy slash, but, hey…it's slash.  If you don't like it…be gone.  No one's forcing you to read/review.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  Wish I owned a few…ahem…people, but, eh…don't. *Sigh*

*~LTDan~*

"Seventh years' ball?  What the hell?  When did they start that?"  said an outraged Remus Lupin to a very calm James Potter.

"Last month, Moony?  Honestly, I don't see what the problem is.  Any of us could get a date, easy.  Well, maybe not Wormtail…"  said James in a tone of wry thought.

Peter Pettigrew stared, bemused, at James.  "I could!  I could get a date!"

"Yeah?" said James, smirking and raising his eyebrows.  "Who'd go with you?  Unless, and no offense to you, Remus couldn't, and he can."

Remus was used to the three's odd behavior.

"I couldn't," he said truthfully, shaking his head.

Sirius, who had kept quiet until now, snorted.  The other three turned to look at him.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of the class, Mr. Black?" said James, sounding very much like Professor McGonagall, their Transfiguration teacher.

"Moony could get a date.  How hard could it be?  Slytherin's chock full of—sorry, Remus.  I was only joking," Sirius finished solemnly when Remus offered him a look that could kill.  "Only joking.  I've got nothing against…that."

            Remus was sure Sirius did, though Sirius had never said anything.  The four of them—James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter—had been a tight-knit group since first year.  Nothing, not even the different paths puberty had sent them down, had come between them in the past seven years.  Especially now, when they would graduate, and friendship would be the most important thing the foursome had.  Except, perhaps, James.  The whole school knew the most important thing _James_ had was Lily Evans, his girlfriend.

            Remus, deciding to let Sirius off, as always, said,  "Who're you going with, Padfoot?"

            Sirius shot him an odd look.  James laughed, and Peter looked confused.

            "What?  Why is that funny?  Prongs!  Stop laughing!"  he said, a frustrated frown line creasing his forehead.

            "Wait, wait, back up…_The Great Sirius Black_ doesn't have a date?  Oh, Gawd!  That's got to be…well, funnier than throwing Snivellus in the lake!"  James's laugh was not very persuasive, and neither was the hand clutching his stomach.

            Sirius did not blush—as Remus, himself would have—he merely turned his head.  Remus frowned.  He hated James teasing Sirius: Remus and Sirius had always been a bit closer than the rest of the Marauders.  Sure, Sirius was James's best friend.  But he told Remus everything, where James would get filtered bits.  The only problem with James was that he tended to lose his temper, and stretch things quite a bit, where Remus did not.

            "James…" he said quietly.

            James immediately stopped laughing.  "Something the matter, Moony?  Ohh…does someone have a crush?" He smirked again.  "No joke, you and Sirius would look good together.  I'm not kidding!" he added as Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

            "Prongs?"  said Remus flatly.

            "Yes, Spoony?  Erm…_Moony_?" said James slyly.

            "Do us all a favor…"

            James's smirk only widened.

            "…and shut up."

            Sirius nodded, his arms folded, staring off at the opposite wall.

            "Siri got a crush too?" cooed James mockingly, in the voice you speak to an infant with.

            Sirius grumbled something incomprehensible, but James seemed to take his grunting as a 'yes'. 

            "I thought so," he said wisely.  "I just knew you and Remus—"

            "Shut up," said Sirius at last.

            James obeyed.  James would not shut up for anyone except Sirius.  Sometimes, if he was found in an exceptionally good mood (Lily Evans had banged him, Severus Snape was sent to the hospital wing covered in boils, Slytherin House was down three-hundred points from Gryffindor, the likes), he would stop talking for Peter or Remus.

            "Okay, I'll shut up…" he started.  The rest stared at him, waiting for what miraculous event would make James Potter be quiet.  "…_If_ you and Remus agree to go to the dance together."

            General protest.

            "_James_!"

            "Oh, come _on_!"

            "You're being childish!"

            "Are you THICK?"

            "No _way_!"

            "Exactly!"

            James held up a hand, and Remus and Sirius stopped talking, both looking upset.

            "If you'd let me finish…" said James, his eyebrows raised once again.  "…I was _going_ to say: you two go together…if you can't get dates before the dance, and I solemnly swear—I swear upon sex with Lily—that I'll shut up for the rest of the year.  No teasing you or Remus."

            "Deal."

            "Done."

            Anything to shut James up would do just fine.  Besides, it's not like it would mean anything to either of them, was it?

A/N: Please review! The next chapter is a songfic…

*~LTDan~*


	2. I Do, But I Don't

You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This 

**Chapter Two: I Do, But I Don't**

By LTDan 

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to umm…Mary.  Yeah.  I hope the wonderful world of slash becomes a thing of brilliance to you, as it has become to me.  Yeah…whatever…here you go.

Disclaimer:  Not mine.  Nothing.  Not the song.  It's Toby Keith's.

*~LTDan~*

_I've got a funny feeling * The moment that your lips touched mine * Something shot right through me * My heart skipped a beat in time_

Sirius was checking his reflection in the mirror of the boys' dormitory when Remus entered the room.

He laughed.  "Calm down.  You look fine."

"Fine, huh?  _Just fine_?"  Sirius grinned.

Remus sat down on the first bed in the room, Peter Pettigrew's.  He watched as Sirius tugged at the sleeves of his solid white dress robes.  He could not help but laugh inwardly: Sirius would do anything to denounce his name—even dress in all white robes, stupid as he may look.  His admiration for Sirius had been so since fifth year, but he would not admit for the life of himself that it was infatuation.  

"Moony?"  said Sirius.  

Remus realized he was staring.  He felt a red heat creep up his neck and into his cheeks.  "Sorry," he mumbled, turning away.

He could almost hear Sirius's grin.  Sirius joined Remus on the bed, still struggling with a crease in his robes.  Remus watched uninterestedly, wondering why Sirius was sitting on Peter Pettigrew's bed with him, in white robes, before the start of the dance to end all dances.  He was about to ask him this, when Sirius looked up at him.

"Found a date?" he murmured.  Remus was sure there was something in his eyes, but could not quite decipher what.

Remus looked up at him, shaking his head.  It was true, Remus had not found anyone to go to the ball with.  He could have, but he did not want to come out sounding too much like James, so he did not say so.  For a split second, Remus thought he had purposely left himself free to go to the ball with Sirius.

"We'd…mm…better go to Prongs…" said Sirius uncertainly.

You shouldn't kiss me like this * Unless you mean it like that * Cause I'll just close my eyes * And I won't know where I'm at * We'll get lost on this dance floor * Spinnin' around * And around * And around * And around

            Sirius and Remus found James downstairs in the common room, "showing" Lily Evans just how great her dress robes looked on her.  It was all Remus could do to stifle a laugh, and he saw out of the corner of his eye that Sirius was finding it quite trying as well.  Remus thought the two of them should just sneak on off to the ball, leaving Lily and James to their own business, but Sirius had other plans.

            He promptly walked up to James.  "We're ready, you know," he said loudly.

            James broke away with obvious reluctance.  "Really?" he breathed, catching his breath.

            Sirius screwed up his face.  "James, your lips, mouth, nose, cheeks, and chin are covered in Sassy Strawberry Snow…"

            "Oh." James took the sleeve of his robes and rubbed it around his face.  "Better?"

            "Uhh…_yeah_."  Sirius's eyebrows were raised: the lipstick was evermore evident.

            "So…" said James slowly, "_Who are you going with_?"

            Sirius's eyes lingered briefly on Remus, who offered him a weak smile.  "Well… I couldn't get a date…"

            "And Remus couldn't either, right?" said James excitedly.

            "Um, no… no, Remus couldn't…"

            "Great!  Lily, did you hear that?  Haha!  Remus and Sirius are going to the ball together.  Lily, if you'll excuse us, I need to go set up arrangements with the gentlemen, here…"  
_They're all watchin' us now * They think we're falling in love * They'd never believe * we're just friends * When you kiss me like this * I think you mean it like that * If you do maybe kiss me again_

            Remus was a complete mess by the time that he, Sirius, James, Lily, Peter, and Peter's date, Andromeda Black  (Who had been kind enough to go with Peter, despite the fact that he was thick.  Remus suspected it was only out of pity for her best cousin's friend.) were standing outside the Great Hall.  Not everyone knew of his sexual orientation, so what would this do?  And Sirius… poor Sirius; everyone knew he was straight.  What  had James done? Sure, it was all in good fun, but this could ruin everything Sirius had going for him.  And that included heaps of women pining after him.

            While Remus was musing the future declination of his and Sirius's reputations, the doors opened in front of them.  He was positive his stomach would leap out through his mouth as he felt Sirius's arm link his.

            Remus knew all eyes were on him and Sirius; they were, without a doubt, two of the most popular seventh years in Hogwarts.  Remus had a feeling _he_ was only known because his best friends were James Potter and Sirius Black.  He could hear murmuring as Sirius escorted him toward the center of the floor.  His stomach flipped over as Sirius stopped him and the music began to play. 

_Everybody swears we make the perfect pair * But dancing is as far as it goes * Girl you've never moved me quite * The way you moved me tonight * I just wanted you to know * I just wanted you to know_  
            "This isn't so bad, Rem," said Sirius, waltzing Remus around the room.

            "Yeah…" Remus agreed nervously.  He did not share Sirius's eagerness.

            "Mhm…" Sirius muttered off-handedly, seemingly distracted.

            "What's on your mind, Padfoot?"  Remus whispered quietly into Sirius's ear.

            "James…"

            "James?"  he asked, following his friend's gaze towards James and Lily, who were dancing zealously.

            "Yes."  Sirius frowned, turning back to Remus.

            "I see.  What's going on with James?"

            "Well… there's a…er…another part to this bet," said Sirius tensely.

            "Another part?" Remus raised his thin brown eyebrows.

            Sirius looked around anxiously.  He then leaned in and kissed Remus more passionately than Remus could say he had ever been kissed.  
_You shouldn't kiss me like this * Unless you mean it like that * Cause I'll just close my eyes * And I won't know where I'm at * We'll get lost on this dance floor * Spinnin' around * And around * And around * And around_  
Sirius broke away, his lips lingering for a minute on Remus's.

"I…" Remus tried, to no avail, to tell Sirius how wonderful his kisses were.

"Remus, don't.  Please, don't.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have…"  Sirius's words came out in a jumbled mess.

"Sirius.  It's okay.  I… I liked it…"  he said, torn between a smile and a frown.  He was vaguely aware of all of the people in the Hall who had stopped dancing, staring between the two, thunderstruck.

"Oh."  Sirius looked puzzled.

"Umm…" Remus said, confused, "maybe we should…go…to bed…or something."

Sirius gulped, but he nodded nonetheless.  He removed his hands from Remus's waist.

"Sirius?" Remus asked as they exited, all eyes on them.

"Yuh?"  Sirius said thickly.

"Umm… please don't do that again.  I mean… not like that.  I might think you might mean it.  I don't… I don't want that to happen… It might ruin everything between the four of us.  I don't want that."

Again, Sirius moved his head up and down in agreement.  
_They're all watchin' us now * They think we're falling in love * They'd never believe we're just friends * When you kiss me like this * I think you mean it like that  
If you do baby kiss me again * Kiss me again_

Remus stayed in the common room, waiting for James and Lily to show up.  He knew it would take a while, so he told Sirius to go on up to bed, knowing he had an extremely rough night.  Remus had brought down a book, waiting for the twosome to come in from their snogfest by the lake.

"James!" he yelled as a face topped with untidy black hair popped past the open portrait door.

"Hiya, Moony," James slurred.  Lily, who entered behind him, giggled.

Remus frowned.  "James, are you drunk?"

"Umm… I dunno…" he said, laughing.

Remus shook his head at his friend.  "I need to talk to you about something."

"You and Sirius?" said James, suddenly very sober.

Remus put on a quizzical look, then nodded.

"What about, then?" James persisted, taking a seat next to Remus, Lily following in suite.

"I just wanted to know…" he said airily.  '_Ahh, screw it_,' he thought.  "How could you do that to Sirius?  He's supposed to be your best friend, James!  How—_why_—did you tell him to kiss me?  Do you know what you've done to his reputation, James?  He'll never date another female for as long as he lives!"

Remus had never yelled at James, had never planned to.  Until now.  He could feel his cheeks burning—rather from anger or embarrassment as Lily and James looked strangely at him.

"Remus, what the hell are you on about?" said James in the most perplexed tone Remus had ever heard.

"You told Sirius to kiss me!  Why didn't you tell me about that part of the bet?"

James raised his eyebrows at Remus.  "That wasn't part of the bet."

Fin 

A/N: Thank you for reviewing, everyone.  A special thanks to those who added me to their favorites list! XD  Well, this is the end.  How did you like it? :)

*~LTDan~*


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